Red alert! Spiritual self-destruction initiated

I have a burning question. I've had it for a long time.

What is the difference between someone whose faith strengthens when faced with adversity and someone whose faith weakens when faced with adversity? The question takes on an even more mystifying air when I realize that I myself have fallen into both camps at various points in my life.

After years of pondering this question, I may have reached an answer that satisfies my curiosity.

A person whose faith strengthens when faced with adversity wants their faith to strengthen, so they choose to tell themselves a faith-strengthening story about what they experience.

A person whose faith weakens when faced with adversity wants their faith to weaken, so they choose to tell themselves a faith-destroying story about what they experience.

What do I mean by adversity?

Well, anything that introduces discomfort into a person's life. It doesn't have to be cancer. It could be something as simple as getting fired from a job or as stupid as stubbing your toe (don't tell me you haven't cursed the universe upon stubbing your toe...). It could be as serious as a loved one attempting suicide or as complex as learning disappointing historical facts about people you reverence.

Basically, it could be anything. I know in my community of faith it often centers around hot-button social issues like gay marriage and teen suicide or historical issues like Joseph Smith's more unrefined moments. Take your pick.

What do I mean by want?

This part gets really tricky. Why would anyone want to destroy their own faith? I don't think they would, but it turns out there are plenty of issues that could serve as a starting point on a path that could lead there. Here are just a few I could think of.

• It is unpopular to believe in a God who created the Earth and is the Father of us all. One reason for this being advances in science that give us an increasingly detailed picture of how the universe works physically.
• It is unpopular to believe in the existence of right and wrong. In my opinion it is easier to dismiss the concept of right and wrong altogether than to uphold it while resisting the urge to judge people we believe are doing wrong things.
• It is difficult to acknowledge and accept the need for commandments when they encourage us to abstain from many things that bring us pleasure, acceptance, validation, and advantage over others.
• People don't want to offend others, but they can't figure out how to maintain their faith without doing so.
• Religion seems antiquated as a method for improving humanity. Historically, religion has been equally responsible for destruction and good. Or, let's be honest, maybe it's been more responsible for destruction than good.

The list goes on and on and on and on...but the point is that there are plenty of reasons for a person of faith to consciously or subconsciously want to destroy their own faith.

Once that idea has taken root, all that remains is to cope with the social and cultural implications of not wanting to believe. That's pretty much where all the arguing comes from. I've seen this over and over again with friends and acquaintances and family to the point where I'm bored of it. So...

Let's make a pact.

If you are my friend or acquaintance or family, and you aren't a person of faith (or you are, but don't want to be), let's just come to a little agreement. 

First, we're going to remain friends, acquaintances, and family. Because why wouldn't we? 

Second, can we agree to not argue? If you do or don't want to build your faith, that's your prerogative. I do want to build my faith, and that's my prerogative.

Third, let's be honest with each other. We're both working from the same facts. I openly and fully acknowledge that I am choosing to interpret them in a way that tells a story of God, miracles, and faith. I also openly and fully acknowledge that there are other ways of telling the story based on the same facts. Yours might be one of those, but that's all it is.

Finally, let's make a pact to avoid pride. I don't care if I'm right and you're wrong, and neither should you!