Your initial reaction matters. A lot.


April 9, 2024

Hey friends,

Sometimes I act like an immature brat. Unfortunately, this tends to happen in high stakes situations where it is least needed, least helpful, and most damaging. And, of course, the victims tend to be those I love the dearest.

I really hate admitting that publicly, but I'm wondering if anyone out there can relate.

Because I am aware of this ego-driven tendency of mine, I felt a lot of sympathy for a client who shared with me last year about his loss of faith in the religion he was raised in and his fear of sharing that news with his family, who lived far away and assumed he still shared their beliefs.

As his coach, it was an easy conversation to have. But what if I were his mother? His sibling? His best friend? Would I handle the news with the same compassion and inquisitive listening ear?

The next time someone you love shares something personal with you that's difficult for you to hear, consider using this line taught to me by a wise friend: "Thank you for telling me this. I'm so grateful you trust me enough to share. I look forward to getting to know more about this new part of you."

Have a great week!


❤️ My Favorite Things This Week

📚 Book - ​Die With Zero​ by Bill Perkins. The most valuable concept for me was the idea of "time buckets." Divide your life into buckets of time (e.g. while I'm still single, when we have young kids, when we're empty nesters, or whatever makes sense for your life). Then make a list of all the activities you want to include in your life and map them to the time bucket during which you'd most be able to enjoy them. Spend the time and money to do those activities in the ideal time bucket instead of waiting to do everything "later" or when you finally retire.

🎬 Movie - ​DUNE Part 2 (2024)​. Saw it four times opening week. That's all I'm going to say about that.

🎙️ My New Podcast Episodes

🍔  Steve makes a spreadsheet of McDonald's points - Tyler and Steve have a McDonald’s…problem? And Steve dives into the numbers to figure it out.

🤑 The YNAB Series (Rule 1) - It's no secret we're obsessed with YNAB. We finally explored the method one rule at a time.

✍️ Quote Of The Week

It takes about 200 hours of investment in the space of a few months to move a stranger into being a good friend. This fits with our data, which suggests that close friends are very expensive in terms of time investment to maintain.

From ​You Can Only Maintain So Many Close Friendships​ by Sheon Han. Resurfaced by ​Readwise​.

I love the idea that close friends are expensive. It speaks to their value and scarcity.

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