I deleted my TBR list

For years, I've used Goodreads to keep track of books I want to read. I captured book recommendations from friends, family, podcasts, YouTube videos, reading influencers, and curated lists of great works. The list seemed to grow exponentially. Before long my TBR dwarfed my list of completed books.

As my TBR grew, so did feelings of negativity about reading. It became obvious I'd never be able to read all the books on my TBR, but worse than that, I realized I didn't even want to anymore.
Instead of picking my next book from my TBR, I found myself reading what I felt like reading in the moment. My TBR became a place where books go to die, not to be read.

I realized that I had created a reading list for a past version of myself, but I read for the me who lives in the present moment. I believe the best reading I do is the reading that aligns with the version of myself that exists right now.

Case in point, my TBR contains business-related books about problems I was facing at work years ago. I never read those books. I either solved the problems back then, the problems resolved themselves, or they turned out not to be as important as I perceived at the time. All those business books no longer held value for me. Yet I felt a weird pressure to read them every time I scrolled through my TBR.

I decided it was time to let go of old ambitions. So I deleted my entire TBR.

From now on, I read only that which I desire to read in the moment. And right now, I feel like reading Dostoevsky. Crime and Punishment hits so much harder when you're reading it because you want to instead of as part of a school assignment.

The obvious downside to deleting my TBR is losing a record of books that I wanted to read. But wanted is notable in that sentence because it's in the past tense. Just because I thought reading a book was a good idea in the past doesn't mean I wanted to read it. And it certainly doesn't mean I want to read it now.

I'm already much happier with my reading. I now have zero sense of obligation. I'm free to read for pleasure, even when it's for learning or enrichment instead of pure entertainment. Reading takes a lot of time. And it takes energy and focus. For me to enjoy it, the material needs to match the needs and desires of my present self.